@Sarcasticsapien: My favorite parts of the Bible are when Jesus is alone talking to God (himself) and someone who wasn't there is writing about it.
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@Book_Krazy: Cop: Ma'am, Are you intoxicated? Me: Are YOU intoxicated! Cop: No Me: Prove it! Cop: *puts handcuffs on me* Me: I like where this is going.
@llvvzz: Your psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you.
@AaronFullerton: If you had a terrible childhood, you'll be super-bummed out by Bank of America's options for security questions.