@anarchicwolf: My favorite pastime is roasting marshmallows over the bridges I burn.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@facciabella: When someone says "everything happens for a reason," I stab them and laugh, just so they know I understand.
@FrankCurtisB: When a lady leaves an article of clothing at my place, I do the gentlemanly thing and put it on and parade around the house looking pretty.
@murrman5: [parent/teacher meeting] "you must've read to him as a baby" *leans forward in little desk* lady, I didn't even know him when I was a baby
@slimmy_shady: 1) "Obamas spying on you."2) "Eh. Cost of being free!"1) "Obama wants to give you healthcare."2) "WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?"