@anarchicwolf: My favorite pastime is roasting marshmallows over the bridges I burn.
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@samalmightysam: Some people are like water balloons; they're more fun when you throw them out the window.
@Naked_Superman: Mom: Sorry, I won't be able to come in today. My son's got stuck in the washing machine. Boss: Aw okay. Poor thing, how old is he? Mom: 27