@P0tterhead_394: My favorite pickup line is when a guy just slides an order of mozzarella sticks towards me.
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@DominicGraz: I used to think Urethra was the name of a heavy metal band, until I found out it was actually a brand of vacuum cleaner.
@badbanana: I cried because my Wi-Fi was slow until I saw a guy stuck talking with his kids because he had no internet at all.
@Brianhopecomedy: Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone's food pics and posting the calories.
@imteddybless: us women should leave something 2 the imagination. for example it should always be unclear whether ur human or a mysterious glowing vapour