@joeyhuggles: My favorite response to someone asking how something works... "Magic" even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy
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@NATxHAN: Me: Santa, why are women so scary? Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me.
@iamMunga: Too many kids crying. I'm never having kids.I'm just gonna adopt an adult who has a job already.
@shariv67: I wish my refrigerator would quit opening my bedroom door, staring at me, sighing and walking away.