@kumailn: My favorite romantic comedy sub-genre is "Hugh Grant falls in love with someone for no reason."
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@UniqueDude2: [reading book report] ME: Beyowulf is the story of a guy that turns into an wolf when he hears Beyoncé TEACHER: Wrong. ME: Well, I tried.
@KKAlThani: Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours.
@OutOnTheMoors: Since my wish is to be cremated rather than buried, I'd like the legend on the urn to read: "Well done".
@MelanieShebel: I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own.