@kumailn: My favorite romantic comedy sub-genre is "Hugh Grant falls in love with someone for no reason."
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@KevinFarzad: Real girls have curves. A real girl is just one long, continuous curve. Do not date girl unless she is a parabola.
@slimmy_shady: Went to the doctor the other day, he told me I had to stop lap-dancing. I asked him why and he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
@minnie_in_pink7: The most realistic thing about Stranger Things is how much time kids in the 80s spent without parental supervision.
@JosesLovesYou: For my new tattoo, I'm totally getting a chest piece of a chess piece, cause its fun to be a pun.