@kumailn: My favorite romantic comedy sub-genre is "Hugh Grant falls in love with someone for no reason."
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@rickolantern: I wish there was something called the pizza/enchilada/beer diet where you lost weight. Cause I'm on it and that's not what's happening.
@Hobo_Splendido: All these years you thought your grandma had Alzheimers, and turns out she just didn't want to talk to you.
@SuperRandomish: Fun prank: Just leave random "I'm sorry I hit your car" notes on people's cars and watch them look for a non existent dent.