@man_spach: My favorite Skrillex song is the one where he drops a spoon into the garbage disposal and steps on a cat's tail.
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@SaraMansford: No, I'm not "lackadaisical", I'm lazy, which is the same only 3 whole syllables less.
@JohnFugelsang: If god didn't like sex, He wouldn't make us scream His name when it's really hot.
@WheelTod: [In Club] *slides up to girl on dance floor "This is my jam" *hands her a jar "I wrote my number on the label. Text me if you want more..."
@AhmedAllabidy: Don't go to a fight with a gun or a knife, Bubblewrap yourself, People won't fight when there's bubblewrap