@man_spach: My favorite Skrillex song is the one where he drops a spoon into the garbage disposal and steps on a cat's tail.
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@OrangeFact: [Date] ME: I hope you like your wine dry HER: But of cour- umm that's just a glass of raisins ME: *mouth full of raisins* it's weally dwy
@rorynotroy: if ur ever in a scary movie situation and find that the phone cords been cut just act like the phone still works thatll confuse the bad guy
@Gooooats: That will be $6.34, and would you like to donate a dollar to the children's hospital or do you prefer being judged by a Taco Bell employee?
@Parkerlawyer: Client said she needs to "find her zen" during our mediation and I don't think she knows that mediation and meditation are two diff things.