@man_spach: My favorite Skrillex song is the one where he drops a spoon into the garbage disposal and steps on a cat's tail.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@1CleverGirl1: 3 days ago I ate my daughters's m&m's while she was napping. When she woke I told her the cat ate 'em She's still mad at the cat. Dumb kid.
@amydillon: H: Is there anything new you want to try in bed? M: Actually... *stretches out alone in bed, sleeps for 8 hours* M: That was amazing.
@JediGigi: Um how poor are you to sell your own yard? For real. And like, nobody's going to buy it with tables full of junk all over it. Geez. Idiots.
@ElleOhHell: [front of card] No one will find your body [open card] as attractive as I do [back of card] lying at the bottom of an abandoned mine shaft