@Mouthy_: My favorite sport is jumping into conclusions
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@bigracksonly: Thank you HGTV for allowing my wife to think I could rebuild our house over the weekend.
@DrBacos: Shoutout to my Cold War reenactment group! We're just a bunch of chill white guys, sitting at a table, acting stressed about the USSR.
@Rollinintheseat: I use a wheelchair. When someone says to me, "I have a friend in a wheelchair,” I always want to say, "I have a lot of friends who walk.”
@SaltyCorpse: You're not a real parent until you've secretly wished your child's sports team does bad in a tournament so you can go home early.