@Black__Elvis: My favorite Star Trek episode is that one where Captain Kirk saves the Klingons hundreds of dollars on hotel reservations.
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@EndhooS: If you legally change your name to 'You're Free to Go' then it's impossible to get arrested.
@Monicann86: Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund.
@Mr_Kapowski: You tell one kid there's candy inside an electrical outlet that can only be retrieved with a fork and you're never asked to babysit again
@sarcasm_inc: Batman pushes a batcuffed Joker thru the crowd. "Look! Hahaha!" yells the Joker. Batman glances up at the jumbotron. GODDAMN the kiss cam.