@Mr_Kapowski: My favorite sushi bar is the one where you can yell "ARF, ARF" like a seal and the chef throws raw fish in your mouth
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@BoogTweets: Her: If your goal was to piss me off today then congratulations Me: That’s ridiculous. My goal was just to be congratulated for something.
@tchrquotes: Bear boss: I need to see you two in my office right away. *I see my coworker is nervous* Me: Relax, how bad can it be. Salmon: Shut. Up.
@thrill713: If your kids are playing and it gets totally quiet, then you hear one say "you're okay, you're okay," they are definitely NOT okay.
@SocialExtortion: I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. Seriously, I'm taking a selfie and you're in the background