@Mr_Kapowski: My favorite sushi bar is the one where you can yell "ARF, ARF" like a seal and the chef throws raw fish in your mouth
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@rolldiggity: If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, "Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene," don't shout, "It was an action figure!"
@BeCoco77: I hate when Spotify is down and I have to listen to Apple Music on my 128 GB Rose Gold iPhone 6s Plus like some kind of homeless person
@madcaplaughs30: If somebody stops to ask me directions, I give them directions to my house. see you in twenty minutes new best friend.
@secondofhername: Jurassic World: A generically modified smart 50 ft monster has turned violent and this, for some reason, took people by surprise.