@TheCatWhisprer: My favorite thing about all the people waiting in line for the new iPhones is for those hours the rest of the world is a better place.
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@shashaintl: What if I never *dramatic pause* sleep *dramatic pause* a- *falls asleep during third dramatic pause*
@noog: Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? "Regular coffee with cream please" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. "TEN?"
@MomoVonTrite: Today is my mom's birthday or as she calls it, Cinco de Seis, because someone taught her just enough Spanish to be annoying.
@McNevich: Girl in front of me at the store this morning bought a Kool-Aid Burst and a big Slim Jim. Heroes walk amongst us, folks. Real life heroes.