@TheCatWhisprer: My favorite thing about all the people waiting in line for the new iPhones is for those hours the rest of the world is a better place.
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@sad_tree: *a dog sits down at a roulette table and pushes his life savings in chips to the center* Put it all on Grey
@LADaddy: [At the stress test, staring at a treadmill] Dr.: Just run at a speed where you can still talk normally. *sits down on a chair* Me: Okay.
@idiosity: Went by the house where I grew up. Asked to go in to look around, but they said no and shut the door in my face. My parents can be so rude.