@OhNoSheTwitnt: My favorite thing about babies is that none of them are mine.
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@lucidchemistry: I found if you put the right stickers on your cooler and walk as fast as you can they'll let you in any part of the hospital you want.
@tudorgrrrl: How come I can get free wifi with a $3 cup of coffee but I can't get it with a $150 hotel room?
@amydillon: My life these days is basically the "before" segment of an infomercial for a revolutionary new mop.
@UncleDuke1969: I'm white, but... Nope. Can't do one of those today. Look, I'm at a B&B on Cape Cod right now. I'm a fanny pack away from translucent.