@torrami: My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus
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@robfee: I don't want a Hot Pocket. I'd rather have a pocket with a nice sense of humor & a pleasant personality.
@billmaher: New evidence shows #marijuana not only helps with cancer side effects but may fight cancer itself! Oh pot, is there anything u can't do?
@ericsshadow: The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
@internetluke: [at dinner party] Me: Excuse me, a bit of an announcement.. Jenny and I are expecting a kid. She is 4 months pregnant. Vegan: I'm vegan