@torrami: My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus
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@Adyaces: No matter how much I shake my phone, you still won't come out. Are you stuck? I think you're stuck.
@ojedge: [on a plane] Stewardess: "Would you like a mint? It'll help your ears during takeoff" Me: "Sure, can I have two?" *puts one in each ear*
@theshantilly: Me: What's w/the ice pack? 12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache? 12: Yes.
@Lmao: What I said: I forgot my book. What the teacher heard: I hate school, I hate you & I don't want to make something out of my life.