@cee_ryan: My favorite thing to do at the library is leave browser tabs open with search results for "best way to clean vomit off a keyboard??"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Swishergirl24: Doctor: You have bronchitis Me: OMG I've always wanted a dinosaur!What do I feed it?
@viciousbabydoll: This is an example of the shit I text my kid. I know, I know. Mom of the Year material right here.
@julieklausner: If I were Santa Claus, I'd have my agent be like "He's not doing it this year if Ronald McDonald is going to be there in that shoe car."