@cee_ryan: My favorite thing to do at the library is leave browser tabs open with search results for "best way to clean vomit off a keyboard??"
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@daemonic3: [in Batmobile] Superman: Hey Batman: Sup? S: Promise you won't be mad? B: [sighs] I asked if you had to go before we left the Batcave!!
@LorieGZ: Me: I hope you pee your pants, teach you not to hold it in! My daughter: You shouldn't wish for that..you're the one that does the laundry!
@Douchekevin: Girlfriend told me she wants me to pull her hair , but apparently not while she's driving. Girls are weird.
@That_Damn_Duck: I learned all I need to know about how to treat my coworkers by watching every Saw movie at least ten times.