@Swain_Train47: My favorite thing to do in cities is walk down busy sidewalks, pass by people, and say into my phone "Target is on the move.”
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@blazed_ncis: *going through mail* "bills bills bills bills bills" "I think I'll unsubscribe from Daily Ducks Magazine."
@xLiserx: Me: Why doesn't he love me? Nachos: Eat more of me and find out! Me: *Chewing* So? Nachos: We need outside counsel. Send pizza down here.
@Scimommy: Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL? Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.
@MAngelo505: My doctor says I should lose 10 lbs and work out more. But why? Spanx launched a men's line.