@Swain_Train47: My favorite thing to do in cities is walk down busy sidewalks, pass by people, and say into my phone "Target is on the move.”
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@kyle_thatisall: When I punish my future kids I wont just take their phone I'm gonna be them on social media & just comment "nice" on everyones old pool pics
@girlontapas: He told me I was too pretty not to smile. So I flipped him off, tackled him and shoved my middle finger up his nose. Now I'm smiling.
@alextranquada: A black shape emerges from your attic; all you can see are claws. You’ve made $4000 in 30 minutes working from home, but at what cost?
@ieatanddrink: If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with