@ajax06: My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn't believe in reincarnation either".
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@KeetPotato: [on quiz show] "and if you won some money today keith, what would you do with it?" *leans way too close into the microphone* spend it alex
@dave_cactus: [at my dad's funeral after he drowns] ME: *places a wreath made of a life preserver on the coffin* It's what he would have wanted...
@SondraDeeMe: Boyfriend's on the phone talking to a guy about lattes and his love of peach scones. I'm on the couch wondering when our periods synced.