@Cpt_Burnout: My favorite X-Men character is Nicki Minaj.
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@yonewt: In the movies, anyone can hotwire a car in 10 seconds. In real life, it takes me 20 minutes to find the gas flap release on a rental.
@murrman5: *walks in house wearing a large neck brace* oh no, what happened? "my earbud cord got caught on a chair while I was walking"
@Shock_Monster: Him: Come check out my church! Me: Him: They play rock music! Me: Him: It's cool! Me: Does it have church in it? Him: Yes... Me: *click*