@BlackCatBettie: My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
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@Lowenaffchen: *affixes a second leash to a hot babes dog while shes tying her shoe* would you look at that. we have the exact same dog. this is incredible
@ShutUpThatsWho: COWORKER: how old is our boss? ME: cut him in half & count the rings CW: doesn't that only work on trees? ME: *over chainsaw noises* HE'S 38
@Tommytoughstuff: *Pulls gun* Alright give me the money, and don't try anything stupid." *Tries to put a fork in a light socket* "Hey! What did I just say"!?