@theshamingofjay: My favorite yoga pose is "try to cut the toenail"
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@man_in_radiator: I hate it when people try to use big words when they clearly don't know their meaning. It makes them sound so gelatinous and isosceles.
@KaylarWill: It's a shock to me that people actually pay their student loans. That's a bill I gave to Jesus
@AndyAsAdjective: [morning] her: did you dream about me? me: that depends…are you a member of the Backstreet Boys? her: umm no me: then no