@sexncake: My favourite mythical creature is the happy woman in the tampon adverts
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@Death_Buddy: [spider's junk email folder] -TURN YOUR WEBS INTO $$$$ -HOT SPIDERS ON YOUR CEILING WANT TO MEET YOU -TRY THE ULTIMATE 8 LEG DIET TODAY
@InternetHippo: *turns on the news* I wonder if things are getting better in the wor-- tv: AN ALLIGATOR ATE A BABY
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Spider-Man is my favorite superhero whose name is made up of 2 things that scare the shit out of me.
@JosesLovesYou: So Nicolas Cage and John Travolta walk into a bar and the bartender says "hey, why the wrong face?"