@sexncake: My favourite mythical creature is the happy woman in the tampon adverts
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@MissNaughty1801: Me:what did daddy say when he broke his phone? 7y:can I repeat swear words? Me: no 7y: he said nothing then
@goodtimenoel: You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off.
@amishschool: My wife yelled, "This is the LAST TIME I'm going to tell you to take out the trash", and I thought, thank goodness THAT is finally over.