@1followernodad: My FedEx guy knocks on the door like his son is dying and I'm the town doctor.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Freudianscript: It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones.
@vornietom: People who say "don't hate the player hate the game" are working under the wildly false assumption that I am unable to hate 2 things at once
@BradBroaddus: Wife: I want to see some snow. Me: You might get to see 3 to 4 inches tonight. Wife: I'd rather see snow.
@XplodingUnicorn: Priest: Dying people are drawn toward a bright light. Do you know what that proves? Me: Dying people are moths?