@YoungFunE: My financial situation is so bad, I'M being sponsored by a child in Africa
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@1evilidiot: If Adrian Peterson is getting indicted for spanking his kid with a stick my mom should get the electric chair.
@BlindChow: GOD: (creates earth) hell yea lizard planet! WINDOWS™: restart planet for important updates GOD: um ok *dinos die, man appears* GOD: wtf
@RidiculousSheri: 'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
@RuinMyWeek: She says talking to me is like talking to a kid. Therapist: And how many years has this been going on? *holds up 6 fingers* This many