@1easyedog: My first language is typo.
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@ericsshadow: [first date] I'm really nervous about this. It's been a long time since I've [holds fork up and squints] used silverware.
@TedBundybitch: 14: what could happen? Me: you could get her pregnant. 14: im not comfortable putting my dingaling in her thingaling Me:*writes suicide note
@upsidedowntrash: After a long journey Frodo and Sam arrive to return the One Ring to the fires of Mt. Doom Frodo: Dude dont be mad, but I forgot the receipt
@weinerdog4life: I'm just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner