@1easyedog: My first language is typo.
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@mommy_cusses: Sorry, can't. I looked away while my child was in the middle of an hour long run-on story and now he has to start all over.
@BestestNerdDad: When dating, I only have 3 dates to get a woman hooked on me because thats how many nice shirts i have.
@SkunkRiverNPS: Wilderness survival tip #32: To deter bears from attacking your tent, simply sprinkle your neighbor's campsite with bacon powder.