@IvoryGazelle: My first thought when meeting new people is often how tiny they are and how security in this maternity ward sucks.
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@ASmallFiction: "I challenge you to a duel!" "Very well. The weapon?" "Compliments." "A capital choice." "Thank you, I- oh! I see you've dueled before!"
@NonCombosMentos: *calls hotel front desk* "Hi is the stuff in the mini bar free?" No sir, you will be billed for any- "Someone robbed my mini bar"
@trentistweeting: ok boss, i duck taped the hostage's mouth shut "you mean duct taped, right?" um... *cuts to hostage with live mallard stuffed in his mouth*
@porksodachop: Snake: What do you do? Gun shop owner: I'm an arms dealer. *snake gets super excited*