@TheSharona06: My Fitbit was delivered today. It's still sitting in the mailbox because I don't want to walk all the way out there.
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@13spencer: You know what they say, the secret to a good relationship is never going to bed married.
@BuckyIsotope: Just did my taxes. Put $420.69 on every line and 5 IRS agents just showed up at my door with a keg, 3 strippers and giant foam fingers.
@Fred_Delicious: Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon