@TheSharona06: My Fitbit was delivered today. It's still sitting in the mailbox because I don't want to walk all the way out there.
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@NYC_Blonde: Tomorrow is the 4th of July which means one thing, it's going to be a really big day for nail art Instagram photos.
@ilovepie84: Mall security asked me to empty my pockets. My response was "you won't find a better job or respect in my pockets"
@iAmDelFreaky: I set up a life size mousetrap in my front yard, but instead of cheese as bait, I used a fedora. Death toll: 17 hipsters and a curious cat.