@Phook75: My five year old asked me to hold her cupcake and I think we all know how that went
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@markleggett: Approach a woman in a bar and whisper "Hey, wanna get out of here?" If she says yes, you can sit where she was.
@murrman5: [me yelling to the cameraman from cops as I get taken away] edit the part out where I tried to do a flip
@ItsDanSheehan: 7:43 pm: I am in an argument with my girlfriend and my anger is justified 7:51 pm: I have just apologized for the Salem Witch Trials
@AndyAsAdjective: Finding out how big of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan I truly am was understandably pretty tough for my daughters, Raphael & Leonardo.