@TheMichaelRock: My fortune cookie read "End of roll. Replace"
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@weinerdog4life: One time my dad caught me doing homework and made me eat an entire pack of calculators
@IamEnidColeslaw: Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's live in a homeless man's beard.
@AristotlesNZ: Got caught again. Next time I'm stealin alcohol from the neighbor's, I gotta remember not to do it hummin the Mission Impossible theme song.
@JayCee302: The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* "Second rook"