@TheMichaelRock: My fortune cookie read "End of roll. Replace"
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@Kyle_Lippert: Mumford & Sons! It's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin & Sons. You know that new sound you're looking for? *holds phone to a boiling pot of water*
@david8hughes: On the 5th day, god was hungover & didn't feel up to much so he created worms, shoelaces & spaghetti, then punched out just after 1pm.
@juliussharpe: Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don't want to look at you.