@djdarrellripley: My fortune cookie reads "I peed in your fried rice" and it's hand written...
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@thesulk: Just picked up an unknown call with a "Hello?" An old woman said "Joan?" So, I can cross "mistaken for a Joan" off the bucket list.
@Pundamentalism: The saddest thing about trying to find a needle in a haystack is that your horse is hiding a drug habit from you.
@d_whitehouse: Lance Armstrong should be applauded for being able to ride a bike so well on drugs. I tried it once. Hit a dog and fell into the canal.