@TheCiscoKidder: A billion yahoo accounts got hacked, but the most surprising thing is that a billion people had yahoo accounts.

@ChribHibble: The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.

@BlackCheesePie: this is your brain *points to egg* but this is your brain ON DRUGS *puts egg on pile of drugs*

@JimmerThatisAll: I'm going to go out on a limb here and fall off obviously.

@LeagueofNope: No thanks, people who hum to themselves. I've seen enough horror movies to know that you probably just killed someone or you're possessed.