@david8hughes: My friend got bitten by a snake and he fell to the floor and started writhing around. It's amazing how fast the super powers kick in.
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@NotChuckBarkley: First white Muslims in Boston, now a 7'0" gay black pro athlete. Narrow-minded conservatives everywhere are having a very confusing month.
@Jenny4ashley: SORRY I GOT IN THE VAN AND ATE ALL OF THE CANDY AND NOW YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ME.
@Chumpstring: I like to shit with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
@Ibeerya: Saw a couple standing in the park holding each other tightly, silently, not moving. I was touched. Both their phones must've been stolen.