@Steelers1972: My friend has canceled our lunch plans three days in a row. I'm starting to think she really doesn't like lunch.
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@VodkaThursday: I'm putting "open bar" on my invitations, but its gonna be a cash bar. Just because its my 3rd wedding doesn't mean u can skip it, slackers.
@BigPlanetEarth: Did you know your amazing human body actually drink lava!?! Only once though.....
@st00pidfast: I can't make you love me but I can tie you up and feed you until you're too fat to be loved by anyone else.
@Awesome_Todd: I like to remind my kids who's boss by putting a cherry tomato on top of their ice cream sundaes every once in a while.