@djdarrellripley: My friend is gay, and that's his boyfriend, he's gay too...
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@Brampersandon_: [Mom]: My son's voice is changing [Dr.]: Thats normal at his age [Mom]: This is normal? *fax machine noises are coming from the kid's mouth*
@davidgrossTV: When I tell you I butt-dialed you, I'm not saying it was an accident, I just want you to be impressed.
@wittwitbarista: My pharmacists won't return my calls anymore *snotty cries* something about no more refills. Quick someone sneeze on me! I'm lonely.