@djdarrellripley: My friend is gay, and that's his boyfriend, he's gay too...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@phxguy88: A Facebook friend posted 8 pictures of himself fixing a lawnmower, so I drove over and shot him. It just felt like the right thing to do.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [bar trivia night] and remember no using your phones unless it's an emergency me: [five minutes later] hello 911? are butterflies insects?
@XplodingUnicorn: [out to eat with in-laws] Me: Waiter, your cheapest bottle of champagne Wife: Hey these are my parents Me: Waiter, 4 glasses of tap water
@dshack8: Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other shit wrong with my car I'd turn the radio down.