@djdarrellripley: My friend is gay, and that's his boyfriend, he's gay too...
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@IGotsSmarts: If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can't even finish this one
@Humor_Fetish: Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
@ashmensch: "Excuse me, but the sign says 'No shirt, no shoes, no service.' It doesn't say a goddamn thing about no pants." - Me, drunk at Target
@lisaxy424: My mom texted me asking what "DTF" meant and I told her "Dedicated To Family"...I seriously can't wait for her to use it.