@faizziy: My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette..
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@TheAlexP: * wishes on shooting star " the wish you have wished for has already been taken, please try again"
@GrantTanaka: son: hey dad me: [picks up phone, dials 9] yes son: now don’t get mad me: [dials 1] ok son: do we have a fire extinguisher me: [dials 1]
@TheMichaelRock: Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples.
@bug_deal: the statue of liberty was a trojan horse thing but it was too hard to break out of and it’s full of skeletons now