@faizziy: My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette..
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@huntigula: [at aquarium] "Kids, the blowfish is named bc of its cheeks" BLOWFISH: [taps glass] actually that's a common misconception, got any cocaine?
@Reverend_Scott: DOG 911: What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it? DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME??