@Storminika: My friend just broke up with her man. I really helped her through the break up by letting her know he's no good in bed anyway.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AndyAsAdjective: Tried to spoon my wife & she throat punched me She said "Sorry I was dreaming of my judo class" But she doesn't take judo Plus she was awake
@iamspacegirl: if squids were land animals sometimes you'd be walking along and you'd look up and BAM squid in a tree
@SortaBad: *Spends 30 min practicing Starbucks order in mirror* *Feels confident* *"Hi I'd like a grander ahoy Ralph Macchioatto lateenbay"* *dammit*