@savvystrider: My friend Mark called me pretentious so I slapped him with my silk handkerchief.
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@pattioshankable: I've discovered the best way to punish 17, is to put on the same outfit as her, then follow her around all day yelling out "TWINSIES!"
@LizHackett: "Why don't you have kids yet?" is a great question, ma'am, but I'm saving that conversation for the right total stranger at this gym.