@savvystrider: My friend Mark called me pretentious so I slapped him with my silk handkerchief.
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@AsgardianRose: Her: We had the baby! She is 7lbs 3oz, born at 9:08am. We'll be naming her tomorrow. Me: Tomorrow is a terrible name for a baby, tbh.
@badbanana: If you tell me you're a fan of One Direction, please clarify if you're referring to the boy band or Kim/Kanye's baby.