@daemonic3: My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched.
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@fuzzlime: put a pic of a girl with perfect abs on my fridge so I'm motivated to suck in my gut every time I pull out the ice cream
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: You can't tell kids they're grounded anymore ME: Why not? W: They weren't our kids M: You did see how badly they packed our groceries?
@TheThomason: Death row last meal? Starfish. Eat a leg, it grows back. Sit back and enjoy a long life eating starfish legs in an electric chair.