@daemonic3: My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched.
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@shutupmikeginn: A trailer in a movie theater ended with "November 20th" and a guy loudly said, "thats my birthday" and a random guy said "happy birthday"
@novicefather: The gingham is holding a grudge because burlap and seersucker didn't invite corduroy to their party. Social fabric is complex.
@PaperWash: Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can't use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
@nattylumpo88: I wish Kristen from finance would tell us her husband was an "attorney" one more time so I could feel better about shitting in her purse.