@laurenreeves: My friend showed me her new vegan pants. I know vegans can be annoying and everything, but should we really be making pants out of them?
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@Jake_Vig: When someone compliments you, etiquette dictates that you respond with "That is accurate."
@kashmir_lover1: According to my gym trainer, I need to cut back on drinking According to my bartender, I look great Moral of the story: I'm drunk
@INDlAN_: Dad- I want you to have everything in this world that your heart desires. *Can I have oreos?* [NO]