@ItalianBratikus: My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon.
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@irememberfallin: My phone number is one digit off from a local restaurant's. When I'm in a bad mood, I'll take reservations.
@TomTheWicked: If I've learned anything from Twitter, it's that you shouldn't be learning on Twitter.
@Thepinkparka: Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting. Until you realize you live alone.