@zoeklar: my friend told me on first dates i should just "be myself" and "be confident" and i was like "ok but which one?"
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@TheMichaelRock: HR: Do you want your name on the October birthday list? Me: Nope. HR: Why not? Me: Because I'm not in Kindergarten.
@SpacemanQuisp: Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th, and the bassists are loaded.