@zoeklar: my friend told me on first dates i should just "be myself" and "be confident" and i was like "ok but which one?"
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@TheMichaelRock: Clark Kent: *sits glasses on counter* Lois Lane: Who are you and where did the new countertop come from?
@NoogsCorner: Superman's only weakness is the extremely rare Kryptonite that all his enemies have.
@MommaUnfiltered: There is nothing quite as genuine as hearing from a friend you haven't seen in forever and finding out she sells Avon now.