@flaskofwhiskeyy: My friend told me to let loose and be reckless today so I walked really fast with a bowl full of hot soup.
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@wendyraepearce: My twitter crush just broke up with me for saying WWE wasn't real. The irony is not lost here.
@unbub_: a great headline for when there is a world wide fresh water shortage will be "water we gonna do??" we will need the laughs
@moooooog35: I put JIF Peanut butter in the mousetraps and although I didn't catch any mice I did manage to snag 3 choosy mothers.