@silent_musings: My friend used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.
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@internetluke: [ordering pizza alone] Yeah I'd like a large pepperoni and *changes voice* A medium sausage *changes voice again* Another large pepperoni
@RapeyRaperton: When a man tries to hug me hello or goodbye I whisper in his ear "tip to tip" and sigh as we embrace to ensure we never do it again.
@Smooheed: *tries to flirt* *twirls hair in fingers* *fingers get caught in giant knot* *learns to live using only one arm*