@TheRolo: My friend uses 'supossebly' and I never correct her. I like her irregardless.
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@adultblackmale: [i walk up to a woman wearing headphones and take them off her and put them on] nice this song rules. what? sorry, can't talk. headphones on
@StellaRtwot: Did you know that there is a little lonely man inside automatic towel dispensers that gives you a towel because he's happy you waved to him?
@Alex_N_Chains: I just felt a weird twitching somewhere inside me. I think it might be my liver waving a white flag.
@Nickadoo: I'm less upset with Lance Armstrong lying about taking performance-enchancing drugs than I am at Oprah for lying about retiring.