@johnfreiler: my friend's apartment building burned down so he's at his parents' and he still won't hang out with me. HOW MANY MORE FIRES DO I NEED TO SET
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@Book_Krazy: *Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* "yeah, you'll be back.”
@Underchilde: I tweet because it’s fun and I like the validation, but also because one day it’ll prove to a jury how crazy I am.
@AndyAsAdjective: I got my first real 6-string Bought it at the 5 & dime Played it til my fingers bled Mom sued the guitar manufacturer & settled out of court