@eric10F: My friends cat just ran across his banjo and was immediately sued by Mumford and Sons.
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@usedwigs: Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he’s wrong and you are positive their names are “Batman and Robert”.
@rz0ndy: My daughter did a cart wheel and slammed her head right into the coffee table. That's all the DNA test I need.
@normwilner: Spider-Man Spider-Man Does whatever a spider can Spins a web Any size Catches thieves Eats those guys Hey wait Don't do that Spider-Man
@mariokeyparty: It's kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn't