@parker287: My friend's crazy, he left a bunch of chocolate balls on the floor in his cat's litter box, they're not that good.
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@envydatropic: If you read enough tweets you can tell the approximate time the tweeter switched from coffee to alcohol
@Parkerlawyer: I pan fried chicken tonight. On another completely unrelated note: the firemen in my town are gorgeoussssss.
@PaulyPeligroso: A man caught me applying chap stick, so I just started eating it so it wouldn't be weird.