@chuuew: My friend's getting rich by selling photos of koi in clothes. He says it's as easy as shooting fish in apparel.
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@lindseyallen: Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Dad, can you make the rain go away? Me: Someone more powerful than me controls the weather. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Mom?
@Cuntypants: Sorry I yelled "SURPRISE!" when you caught me in bed with your husband. I was unaware that you don't like surprises.
@iQuoteComedy: Research shows that in 100% of cases, when someone says "Oh no she didn't!", she in fact, did.