@chuuew: My friend's getting rich by selling photos of koi in clothes. He says it's as easy as shooting fish in apparel.
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@Marlebean: AHHHHHHHH HONEY COME QUICK THERE'S A RAT IN THE SHOwer oh uh never mind, it's just my hair in the drain
@shariv67: When dogs suddenly stop licking themselves and stare into the distance, they're thinking, "Shit. Did I leave the iron on?"
@Thedudish: Hey, remember me from last night? You gave me the wrong number but I found you on Facebook. I'm on your porch. Can I come in?