@sageboggs: My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :(
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@amydillon: [sits next to friend in a coma, holding her hand] "Squeeze once if that's an 8 at the end of your HBO Go password."
@WilliamRodgers: 18 is TOO young to get married! You can't even buy booze at 18! If you can't buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
@SergioValenCo: What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality? *gets arrested*
@desi_princess: No thanks officer. I don't even give strange men my phone number, and you're asking for my license and registration.