@sageboggs: My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :(
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@P1ssed_K1d: I took my family out to an authentic Vietnamese place. My wife and I had pho. The kids sewed Nikes for 14 hours and were beaten. Great pho.
@Playing_Dad: Cop: Wife shot the husband for bothering her while reading a book Sargent: You arrested her? C: No S: Why? C: She's not done with the book
@Twtercide: I will not think of sex at church I will not think of sex at church I will not. Priest: Which leads us to his Second Coming Me: Goddammit!