@sageboggs: My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :(
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@HomeProbably: If someone overtakes me when I'm walking, I match their speed so it looks like I've got friends.
@DistractedMomma: I often agree to let my kids sleep over at other people's houses, just to remind parents that there are kids who are way worse than theirs.
@Parentpains: I never knew my mechanic was a psychic until he loudly announced that I had blown a tranny in my car.