@slaughthie: My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
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@JaiWalker: Childless people wondering what it's like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
@craydrienne: 1. Pick jeans to wear 2. Pull them up to thighs 3. Pants dance for 3 minutes 4. Take pants off 5. Put sweatpants on 6. Cry, eat pumpkin pie
@KeetPotato: [biologists find beached whale] its a new species what can we call it? [surfer walks by] yo killer whale bro [biologists look at each other]
@greggjgc79: Excuse me, you with the heels that make your calves perfect, designer dress that accentuates your curves.... You have lettuce in your teeth