@VenisVal: My friend's wife is so controlling. When they're together, he talks like he's filming a hostage video.
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@dubsteppenwolf: every time someone says "don't give homeless people money, they'll spend it on drugs" it's like... so will I though??
@davidkenny100: Work meeting Boss: it's come to my attention that someone has been eating out of the trash! Everyone, including his pet raccoon looks at me