@Bagyants: My gangster name would be The Street. If someone dared to oppose me I'd say ominous things like "Look both ways before you cross The Street"
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@GaryJanetti: Rio declares state of emergency just before Olympics. That's like inviting people to your house for dinner but you have no food. Or house.
@mjm866: My two year old just learned to say shut up. Coincidentally I just lost all guilt about clothes lining a toddler.
@UncleDuke1969: Jim: I'm totally spacing out on a word. Me: OK J: What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink? M: Linda.
@aparnapkin: Friendship: because I've said many dumb things & you acted like they were TED talks