@dril: my garbage family is staging an intervention or something for me because i forgot what its called when people have a chin made out of hair
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@Book_Krazy: Every time I eat a cookie in bed, I imagine it screaming "I'M GONNA CRUMB" because I have something wrong with me
@jsteele3966: So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
@sixfootcandy: Him: Why are the lights out? Are u avoiding trick or treaters? Me (Peeling a Snickers bar by the light of my iPhone): Exactly.
@shawnspree: Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh and the world wants you to stop looking at your phone and drive.