@dril: my garbage family is staging an intervention or something for me because i forgot what its called when people have a chin made out of hair
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@davedittell: *takes load of groceries off of old woman's hands* these are mine now you old prune
@egg_dog: Teacher: ok class bring your dioramas to the front of the class Me: [holding a bowl of diahorrea] oh no…
@MableGertrude: I have friends. By that I mean I have pictures of me standing next to people on Facebook.