@dril: my garbage family is staging an intervention or something for me because i forgot what its called when people have a chin made out of hair
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@juliussharpe: I just saw an ad for a bulletproof briefcase. The real question is: why does your briefcase have so many enemies?
@DaHess1: My wife and I do this cute thing where she sends me pics of kitchen towels she can't decide on buying and I google my life expectancy.
@headstrong_girl: "Wife stabs husband with squirrel" was on the news.. Does anyone know how to sharpen a Squirrel?